Friday, November 11, 2016

FOTDystopia

Well, the impossible has happened. A racist, misogynist sociopath with nothing but contempt for the democratic process has been elevated by it to the most powerful office in the world. Hillary Clinton was not my ideal Democratic candidate, but I came to find her deeply inspiring over the course of this year's vicious, depressing campaign. And now millions of Americans have rejected her knowledge, experience, and tremendous ability for the whims of a con artist loyal only to himself. As a queer woman and someone who has endured sexual harassment from men in positions of power, I can't help but feel that Tuesday's election was a referendum on my humanity. And I'm not even one of the people threatened most by a Trump presidency; it's a sign of my privilege that I can still cling to optimism. I can only hope that this disaster will shake the Democratic Party out of its complacency and force it to listen to the progressive voices in its ranks. I can only hope that more and more of us will fight for social and economic justice. But with the Republicans poised to dominate all three branches of American government, it's going to be a long four (and possibly eight) years—and the effects of the legislation passed in those years will last much, much longer. 

So, uh, what makeup do you put on your face when your country is teetering on the edge of the abyss? Even in dark times, there's value in moving forward with our daily lives and daily rituals. I can't have been the only person craving a sense of normalcy after the fever dream of election night. The next day, I automatically reached for my favorite lipstick: NARS 413 BLKR, which I hadn't worn in a few weeks. There was something comforting about applying that familiar red-brown-plum color and feeling its familiar dryness on my lips. I wore that lipstick for two days, along with neutral, understated eye makeup. Today, though, I woke up wanting something a little more colorful. I almost never wear non-neutral shades on both my eyes and my lips, but this morning it felt right.

Clockwise from top left: Inglot custom eyeshadow duo (#08 and #433), Illamasqua Zygomatic blush, Marc Jacobs Le Marc Lip Creme in Rei of Light, ColourPop Super Shock Cheek in Might Be, Urban Decay 24/7 eyeliner in Whiskey.

And this was the result:


As you can probably see, ColourPop Might Be highlighter (at the tops of my cheekbones) is too warm and dark for my complexion: it looks positively yellow here, though it's a rosy copper in the pan. More on that in a future review. I can't return it, so I'm trying to make the best of it.


I always forget about my Inglot eyeshadow duo for some reason, but that antique gold-green, #433, is perfect for autumn. It also goes with the earrings I bought last month at the Philadelphia Museum of Art:


Those earrings are a souvenir not just of the museum but also of a wonderful visit with two dear friends. And in the wake of this election, our friendships and connections with other women are more important than ever. I don't know where we go from here. But we're still here. Still nasty. This is not the end.

20 comments:

  1. The pan on Zygomatic is so satisfying to look at.

    I am horrified (surprisingly I was not shocked, so some part of me had acknowledged it as a possibility, which is moderately depressing). I am angry. My (chronically depressed) province trades heavily with the US (92% of exports last year went to the US), so this will have a profound impact on my life economically, socially, and politically and there was literally nothing I could have done.

    So I guess what I'm saying is that we're all in this together, even across international borders. Keep fighting, fellow nasty women.

    And as a final thought, I LOVED Hillary's message to young women and girls in her concession speech. I started to cry in my office while watching it.

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    1. I was cautiously optimistic throughout the election, but the second the polls started closing I had the worst feeling. I never thought Hillary would win in a landslide, but this was not the outcome I expected. And you're right, Trump's election is absolutely a global issue and a global menace. Thanks for the support. <3

      I haven't been able to watch Hillary's concession speech or even read a transcript of it because I know it will destroy me. She worked all her life on behalf of women, then lost the presidency to a sexual predator. Fuck everything.

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  2. aux, i've been subscribed to your blog for a while now and your posts are always a pleasure to read. i love your snarky but enthusiastic commentary on makeup (particularly: "I need to stop immolating myself on the altar of white-based pastels" -- haha!), so much so that when i saw this post i had to comment.

    i feel your pain. i'm barely coming out of a fog of disbelief myself. i am angry that someone who ran a campaign that went so against american democratic principles could defy all odds because of a core base of people who believe that *they're* the real americans. i am angry that half (HALF!!) of americans who voted were ok enough with the raging cheeto's stew of ineptitude and hatefulness that they voted for him and appear to be happy about it.

    but the more diverse america is still here, and hopefully our voices will continue getting stronger. keep being yourself. when you think you can take it, you should watch hillary's speech. swimmingmonkey's right -- it's heartbreaking but good.

    also: totally happy to watch you immolate yourself on the altar of eye-watering colors.

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    1. Thank you for this comment. <3 I'm glad you've been enjoying my blog!

      I wonder what it must be like to feel that this country belongs to you and you have the right to prevent people unlike you from entering it. I also wonder which is worse: that so many people actively supported Trump's racist, sexist rhetoric, or that so many people voted for him in spite of it because they didn't feel it was important. We just elected a president who's literally endorsed by the KKK. What the fuck. But you're right: the majority of Americans voted for Hillary, and those Americans aren't going away.

      NO MORE WHITE-BASED PASTELS FOR ME.

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  3. I tried so, so fucking hard not to cry when I watched her concession speech with my mom, but I did. It was good. I got to mourn.

    Now I get to amp up my queer feminist uber-bitch to level five thousand. People thought I was bad before? Just you wait, mother fuckers. Just. you. wait.

    In other news, that lipstick is still so perfect on you I just canNOT.

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    1. Most people assume I'm straight because I look conventionally feminine and I've been with my boyfriend for so long, but this election has made me determined to be more vocal about my queerness. I have the privilege to do so in relative safety. Many, many people do not. QUEER FEMINIST UBER-BITCHES UNITE.

      And thanks! I still love it. :)

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  4. I saw a snippet of Hillary's concession speech and started crying. I think I need to save it for later.

    It just fucking gets me that for seeming many of the people that voted for him, the reasoning was "I don't really like the racism and sexism etc but he's a much needed change". Ugh. Sure, I understand that it's an imperfect system, and Hillary is also an imperfect candidate (who is?), but it smacks of such privilege because the shit he has brought about and legitimised (violent attacks on minorities and LGBTQ folk, for example) is the stuff that will not affect them.

    I don't know. This has all made me feel very small in the world.

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    1. It's incredible how many Trump voters assumed that his incendiary comments were no more than bluffing. I just read an NYT interview with one of the white suburban women who helped hand Trump the presidency, and she confessed that she found him "scary" but voted for him anyway. Newsflash: don't vote for the candidate who SCARES YOU.

      I've always avoided comparing Trump to Hitler because I don't think drawing direct historical parallels is a great argumentative strategy, but...well, I also grew up in a family in which the memory of the Holocaust was very much alive. And this is how it starts.

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  5. I haven't been able to watch the concession speech yet, but you all are encouraging me to get there. I feel sick. I feel really embarrassed for my country. I think I knew what was coming: historically, Hillary had very long odds to beat. It isn't often the same party wins the White House three elections in a row. I guess everyone remembers Reagan-Reagan-Bush and thinks it's not a big deal, but, historically, it really is. I wore grey for election day, I went to bed early and told my son to wake me up when the results came in, but, when he saw Hillary's low margins in Bucks and Lackawanna counties in PA around 10:30, he knew, and couldn't face it, and I woke up feeling sick on Wednesday, I just knew somehow...

    But, thanks to discussion on another blog, I remembered how I felt when Nixon won, twice, and when Reagan won, twice... progress is a very long process. We will keep on working. And we will get there.

    And so I wore lipstick with the name "Heroic Pink".

    That olive green eyeshadow is really gorgeous and does go perfectly with the earrings. I want to try Zygomatic so much. I need to just bite the bullet and order it sight unseen. Time to take some risks!

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    1. A lot of us probably knew what was coming and chose to ignore it. I mean, if 2016 were a novel, would it end with a Clinton victory? Surely not. The narrative of this awful year demanded an awful end, and here we are indeed, with Nigel Farage hobnobbing with our president-elect. My one consolation is that Trump is almost certain to be a one-term president...if the democratic process survives his first term, that is.

      Zygomatic is one of my favorite beauty products ever (I mean, obviously). I doubt it would work for people with medium and dark skintones, but if you're pale, it's such a wearable, versatile blush.

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  6. Yeah, this is not our finest moment :-( Then again, after Brexit was voted it became clear anything is possible. Blegh.

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    1. Blegh indeed. I was in the UK during the Brexit vote, and I remember thinking with horror that if Brexit could happen, Trump could very well happen too.

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  7. I was in total denial up until 1am Tuesday (by then nytimes calculated Trump had a 95.5% chance of winning) and managed to go to sleep, dreamed twice about Hillary winning Pennsylvania...Then I woke up.

    Now I am back to my everyday life (hoarding lipsticks and stuff). I guess now I get to feel the other half of US. If the Hillary did win, this is exactly how they would feel...

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    1. I went to bed before any network called the election, but the writing was definitely on the wall. I actually had a couple of dreams earlier this fall that Hillary won, and I chose to believe they were prophetic. I guess I shouldn't go into business as a psychic anytime soon...

      Trump's supporters may be happy right now, but I wonder how they'll feel when it turns out that he can't magically bring jobs back and has no political ideology beyond himself. He conned disadvantaged people in this election just as he has throughout his life.

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  8. Hey AB,

    Like a commenter above, I was also inspired by this to finally comment on a post of yours. I got more seriously into makeup a couple of months ago, and your blog is my favorite of the ones I've discovered since then. It's actually inspired a few of my purchasing decisions! But I also really like how you tell a story about when/where/why you acquired a product instead of just "I bought these things, have some swatches!" But then again, I pine for the good old days of longform written content online haha.

    Also, I am continually amazed at how similar we are? Like, aside from having warm coloring to your cool coloring we have a creepy amount in common: same hair and eye color, both from the SF bay area (tho I was further north), born within a few days of each other (I turned 29 last Monday), and I'm also a queer woman who generally passes for straight. Plus I also majored in history in undergrad (classics, for me), but I didn't go the grad school route there because it seemed too daunting. So basically I take your reviews and opinions to heart.

    All of this rambling is to say, I really love your blog and I really agree with and appreciate this post. I wish you all the best, keep being awesome!

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    1. Whoa, those similarities are indeed creepy (in a good way, obviously). Even creepier, I actually studied Latin in college! It's interesting to be an older millennial: we grew up on the internet, but in the days of longform blogging instead of omnipresent social media. I don't think it's any coincidence that many of my readers are my age or older. Once you've gotten used to reading stories about makeup, it's hard to be satisfied with swatches on Instagram or Snapchat. And I'd assume a lot of younger makeup lovers don't want to slog through my ramblings, either! Still, I hold out hope that longform blogging isn't dead yet. Some of my favorite beauty blogs have gone dark over the past few years, but there are still quite a few that I love reading.

      Anyway, thanks so much for your lovely comment! I've been blogging since early 2014, but it still kind of blows my mind that people actually read and like what I write.

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    2. Yeah, I think we're in an interesting age group: young enough that using computers and the internet feels natural, but old enough to remember a time before that too. I mean, I'm using my AIM login to comment here haha, I think that definitely shows how old I am. I do like to think though that some of the kids today will still enjoy longform content if/when they get exposed to it. But who knows, I guess.

      I'm usually awful about lurking and never commenting, but I know how great it feels when people comment on your work so I've been trying to do more of it recently. Also, I asked for UD Backtalk for my birthday because of your reviews, so thanks for introducing me to it! Hopefully it looks as good on me as it does on you. :) The only good thing about this horrifying turn of events happening during my/our birthday month is that it's restraining me from doing too much retail therapy haha (although I might end up buying something anyway, I kind of want to buy something as glittery and un-practical as possible...)

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  9. I love that olive-y eyeshadow on you, and love love love it with that lipstick. What a great pairing.

    One a more depressing note, well, I'm devastated by the result of the election. Though I've never lived there, I'm an American citizen (with lots of American family), and it's absolutely shameful. Obviously this election will effect Americans first and foremost, but there will be a ripple effect felt all over the world, and far-right politicians here are already mobilizing over this. It's not just Trump who scares me - Mike Pence is pure evil and as a lesbian my stomach turns at the thought of a VP who advocates for conversion therapy. And his white supremacist/anti-semitic chief strategist! People keep saying we will live through it, but I can't help but think there will be some people who won't. I've seen a lot of "we lived through Reagan" comments, which is pretty silly considering the AIDS epidemic which he was absolutely complicit in through his complacency... It's a very dark time indeed. I haven't felt this bleak about the state of the world in my life.

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    1. I keep thinking about the day Obama was elected, still one of the happiest days of my life. I had just turned 21 and was in my last year of university, and even though the economy had just crashed, I was thrilled that we'd managed to put an intelligent, level-headed, empathetic person in the White House. I can't help but wonder how my twenties would have been different if they'd started with Trump. I know I'm still young, but I feel for the people who are even younger than I am (you're in your early twenties, right?) and find themselves confronting this bleak new reality. Especially young LGBT people and people of color.

      Mike Pence is terrifying. I don't know who's worse, honestly: Trump, who is totally impulsive and has no real ideology, or Pence, who is level-headed and has one of the scariest ideologies in the country. Lucky for us, we get both!

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    2. Yep, I'm 22. It's a weird age to be when it comes to politics - I was never really aware of a pre-9/11 world, and the American political climate has been so polarized throughout my life. The Obama presidency (which ran throughout my early teens to early 20s) was pretty good overall, but the rise of the alt-right hasn't been great. It's a scary time!

      Pence has always scared me more because he's calculated and has a horrifying track record, and I worry that ultimately he'll be what Cheney was to Bush and end up having a huge influence over Trump. Ugh, it's been a week and I still can't quite believe it.

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